is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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