Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
