just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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