We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
