I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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