Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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