Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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