I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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