What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
