bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
