please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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