I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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