she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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