Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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