just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
