Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
