This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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