I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
