He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
