We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
