he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
