You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
