shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize