I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
