Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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