I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
