Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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