I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
