You're completely useless in the revolution.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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