Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
