There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
