i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize