Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
