You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
