In the future we'll all be gay
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
where are you?
Hypothermia
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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