I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
