that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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