I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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