please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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