Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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