i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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