I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
