Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize