do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
