Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
