Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
