Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
