I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
