I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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