Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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