im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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