he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
