guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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