yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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