you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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