I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
