Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My bed smells like the plague
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