i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
