Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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