On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize