dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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