your room smells of hookers.
And success
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
